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But instead of building a life with an equal, she opted for a man who could destroy the life she’s so carefully built.It would be easy to blame Noerdlinger — yet this dilemma is faced by all too many of her successful African-American sisters.“The Mc Cray/de Blasio union makes clear that black women do have options,” Banks observes, “while dispelling the myth that America does not want black women.” Of course, Mc Cray was a success long before meeting de Blasio, so it would be churlish to suggest she married “out” in order to marry “up.” Rather, her actions better reflect her history as a vocal feminist and intellectual maverick.After all, when you’ve been gay, resisting black conventions to marry a white man is hardly “radical.” Indeed, with “choice” being the ultimate in female empowerment, marrying de Blasio may actually have been Mc Cray’s most feminist move of all.

In his book, Banks, a Stanford Law professor, notes that everyone from the black church to movie director Tyler Perry exhorts black women to partner with black men. Who cares if she’s Ivy-educated while he barely has a GED?Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!This is the true reason that there are so many single, never married Black women in the United States – Black churches.My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced.It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females.

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