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This little exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm and avoid spinning into a frenzy.

It will help you gain control over your thoughts and your mood, and this will be of major benefit to you and your relationship. Be present The biggest problem with stressing over your relationship is it takes you out of the relationship and brings you to a much more disturbing place. When you go on a date with a guy, whether it’s the first or the fiftieth, all you should be thinking about is enjoying your time with him and building a connection.

This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared.

A relationship also isn’t some sort of milestone, a sign that you have “made it,” that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership, also known as marriage.

This is But I realized that identifying the problem is only half the battle.

You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilities…and then became scared that my imagined future wouldn’t come to be…and then panic set in.

Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline.

Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? When you care too much, you inevitably become attached to a certain outcome.

The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.

Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about.

The problem is our minds trick us into believing there is some sort of payoff to this type of thinking.

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For example, let’s say you start seeing a new guy and things are going great. You feel a sense of dread deep in your gut and you know, you just know, that he’s never coming back.

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